You may remember the childhood story, Peter Pan. It is a story about a boy named Peter who wouldn’t grow up. While Peter Pan is a great fictional story, when it becomes the reality of your relationship, it could mean trouble. There are several Peter Pan characteristics that you or your partner may be embodying that are negatively impacting your relationship. Peter Pan syndrome reflects a relationship characterized by an unwillingness to choose growth. If you find yourself experiencing any of the five characteristics listed below, you may want to consider recommendations on how to grow through them:
1) Difficulty Committing – A relationship cannot grow if one or both partners have a fear or reluctance to commit. Several factors could be contributing to a lack of commitment. Regardless of the reason, when this is the case, it is imperative, to be honest with oneself and the person you are dating. Commitment can be scary. Therefore, it may be helpful to identify the root of one’s fear, face that fear, discuss the concern, and make some decisions about moving forward. It could be incredibly liberating to overcome the block that has been preventing you from growing in love.
2) Indecisiveness – Part of what keeps the Peter Pan relationship from growing is reluctance or failure to make decisions. It can be challenging to make a decision; however, failing to choose is choosing to live your life by default. To help your relationship grow, be willing to commit to making decisions.
3) Inability to handle conflict – Often, individuals with the Peter Pan syndrome have difficulty dealing with conflict, and therefore avoid it. Avoiding conversations about relationship problems does not make the problems go away.
4) Lack of Responsibility/Accountability – When all responsibilities fall on one partner, it can lead to being overwhelmed, which may contribute to building feelings of resentment. Both partners need to have a willingness to accept both responsibility and accountability in the relationship. Growth in a relationship requires a willingness to engage in adult responsibilities such as managing finances, time, and making the relationship a priority.
5) Lack of Priorities – Peter Pan syndrome reflects an individual who continually seeks to play. Relationships require work. There is a time and a place for everything. For relationship growth, individuals need to make their relationship a priority. There needs to be a willingness to work towards the health and wellness of the relationship.
Take control over the direction of your relationship today. Make a commitment to your partner, be willing to make decisions, work through conflict as it arises, accept responsibility in the relationship, and make your relationship a priority.
Relationships are meant to grow. If your relationship is currently at a standstill, ask yourself, are you or your partner suffering from the Peter Pan syndrome. If so, therapy could be a way to resolve what is holding you back from growing as a couple.
Make your appointment today.
Call: 941-479-7866 or E-mail: Dr.Dixon@patriciasdixon.com